If you’re in a marriage where you both know it has run its course. It is toxic and painful just to be in the same room. It is over but you are dreading the custody battle and costly divorce courts?
Could it be different? I have seen so many people’s lives destroyed by costly bitter divorces. You have both worked your entire life to provide a future and now it is turning into a nightmare because you cannot agree on the split.
I had a horrible experience with my divorce. I still get angry about it if I allow myself to go there. At the time, I did not know about Family Constellation Therapy and how fair and just it is if you do a constellation on it because it is based on truth.
I hadn’t been trained as a practitioner at the time, nor had I thought about putting divorce settlements in a constellation. A few years after I started my practice, a young man was going to be deployed for nine months in Europe. His ex-wife would not sign passports so his new wife could bring his children to visit him while he was in Europe.
He came to me in desperation and asked me to help him, he only had three weeks and she was digging in her heels against everything he wanted.
I set up the constellation for him and put a representative for him, his new wife, his ex-wife, his lawyer and her lawyer in the constellation. If you have witnessed one of my constellations, you will understand the deep healing that takes place. You are actually clearing the negative energy that causes the conflict. We call it soul wounds! That may be why your marriage is falling apart. You are soul wound bonding.
What happens is Family Constellation Therapy deals with the energy in your field that had you create the circumstances in the first place. After I completed the healing with all of them, I had the five representatives stand in a circle, hold hands, and connect with each other.
A week later his wife called me very excited because she wanted to tell me the following story. . . “About a week after the constellation, we both woke up inspired about a solution for the new custody settlement. We realized we both had the same solution to offer for a settlement. I was excited, so I called our lawyer and he was surprised. He said he was going to present the same solution to us. Our lawyer immediately called the opposing lawyer and he told him he had the same solution and so did his client.”
Does that mean it was all in his favor?
No! He had full custody and had to make concessions so It ended up being fair to all of them. The miracle was that he did it without spending the money it would have taken. He was going to have to come up all of his savings because her dad was backing her up with funds.
Have you ever thought about using Family Constellation Therapy to settle differences and find solutions?
Family Constellation Therapy is not about the stars, it is transmuting negative energy from your energy field to disrupt dysfunctional patterns that we are born into. The representative for his ex-wife expressed she was digging her heels in against it because she was scared. Once this was expressed in the circle it shifted and was resolved.
There is always a way to negotiate a fair solution. That is the magic of the constellation circle! You cannot manipulate energy, you cannot manipulate truth. It is what it is and it becomes very magical when you do a constellation on it because you are transmuting and healing the energy out of your space that created the challenge in the first place. Maybe it’s time we all embrace our resistance to life and face into the fear and scarcity behind it.
You are the cause of your life and you can set a strong intention and create a fair resolve. Divorce is a perfect example of transmuting negative energy to get a positive result! Both parties are so caught up in their hurt, anger, and bitterness that the lawyers end up with all the money.
What about the children?
I cannot even count the adults that have come to me still dealing with childhood trauma from parents who got caught up in a bitter custody battle in the divorce courts when they were little.
It is not the divorce, but the way parents punish each other by withholding the children. The children are forced to choose sides, or denied the right to see their parents. This is a major factor in causing a lot of deep trauma for a child.
For heavens sake, why use your children to punish each other and leave the children scarred and traumatized. It is not so much the separation that is hard on them, it is the out of control emotions flying around. Put it in the circle to heal the pain even if just for the sake of the children.
Pay attention to what your child has to say. “It is my fault, I made him leave because I was bad, he left because he does not love me anymore.” If your pain if overwhelming, they will begin to take all the blame and parent the parents because the parents are not parenting the children. This goes very deep and often stops a child from finding a healthy relationship for themselves.
Allow your child to somehow stay connected to both parents if at all possible.
The most damaging behavior is from those who are keeping children from the other parent. Unless they are in proven danger, the damage that happens to the children from denying them a relationship with one of their parents causes a deep incompletion and a fracture in their soul. This will cause a huge challenge for them as an adult. If you love your children, find a way to co-parent with grace at the very least.
Never talk disrespectful about the other parent no matter how bitter you feel. Your just passing your issues onto your children to deal with. Many parents purposely turn the child against the other parent. This becomes a lifelong burden for the child to trust love so it disrupts their own relationships as they get older.
I have had many adults resent their Mother for misrepresenting their father that they barely got to know at his death bed. They realized he was not the monster the mother made. him out to be. They end up with a lifetime of resentment for their mother until we transmute it in the circle.
Divorce is emotionally painful enough without being a victim to the legal system that destroys lives, adds to stress, and drains you energetically of financially. Be sure to read about Tony’s experience in the video below. He tells about settling lawsuits outside of the court system with Family Constellation Therapy.
I was told by my trainer that Family Constellations are required in Mexico to settle a divorce. Family Constellation Therapy is much faster and cheaper than mediation. But here in America, the lawyers benefit the most from conflict rather than a simple inexpensive solution.
This method helps you overcome obstacles by understanding why you created the challenges and to get it dealt with on the energetic level. Why? Because energy creates matter. As below, so above, your unconscious baggage is running your life and you don’t even realize it.
This powerful tool can help release the grip of the emotions that caused the devastation in the first place. Conserve your energy for your dreams and start living more fully. Come explore with me how Family Constellation Therapy can help heal the wounds of the past and move forward into a brighter future.
We hold retreats every month or you can pay for a private session. We can customize your constellations to fit your needs. The inner work achieved through family constellations therapy helps people create more freedom in their lives by understanding and transmuting feelings of powerlessness, connecting with your source of strength, and discovering new solutions for growth. This profound exploration allows an individual to move forward in an empowered, authentic way.
How can you use Family Constellation Therapy to work through these emotions and move on from them?
Is it possible to greatly reduce the drama between two couples once you put it in the circle to release and integrate?
Absolutely! I once had a man join my circle who was not in love with his wife anymore but stayed married/separated for two years because he did not want to hurt her. The problem was, he could not move on and they were both very unhappy.
We put it in the circle and the representative cried and until the emotions were released around it. When he returned home she approached him and she told him it was time for a divorce. She knew energetically that he did not love her and she was okay with it because the energy around it was healed. She gave him a divorce without pain and drama.
What are some of the benefits of using Family Constellation Therapy to deal with Divorce?
It helps to see both sides, two points of view. It is powerful to heal the negative energy that has built up from so much conflict and pain. Family Constellation Therapy also gives people the ability to act from a place of compassion based on understanding rather than struggling with toxic emotions.
By addressing the facts in a safe setting, it offers the opportunity for positive outcome, change of behaviors and personal growth for both parties.
How can you get started with Family Constellation Therapy if you’re in the middle of battle with each other?
To get started in Family Constellation Therapy, start with scheduling an appointment with me, Shauna Cuch. I will give you my honest opinion of rather or not I can help you with your challenges through Family Constellation Therapy. If you feel good about it, then at this time, we can definitely help you save thousands of dollars on both sides.
You will be able to heal the children by putting them in the circle to see what emotions they are carrying that do not belong to them. You will definitely see the magic take place. The phrase that I hear almost every time from a seeker is. “This is mind blowing”
Taking that first courageous step towards resolution is important. This is the place to start so there is not a deluge of emotions flying around and putting the entire family onto trauma response.
Join our conscious community for support of likeminded people if you are in the. middle of the drama. You will find peace and ease around the decisions. Your confidence will take over and you will be able to make good decisions in a not so great situation.
Not only that, but you will also reap some amazing benefits like heightened self-awareness, a greater sense of personal power, and improved relationships, and more abundance in your life. If you’re feeling stuck in any of these negative patterns and emotions right now, know that there is hope. Family Constellation Therapy can help you work through them so you can finally move on.
Relationship Mentor and Shadow Expert