Is She Right For Me Or. . . Future Entrapment?
Just keep in mind, no one is perfect, but know what your deal breakers are. To often couples fall head over heels into a toxic ending because you are both looking for completely different results.
Women do not understand that men think opposite from women. Their expectations are most often beyond a mans radar. If your not asking questions for clarity, neither of you even know what your deal breakers are.
A failed marriage is really hard on a man because his manhood is based on making a women happy. Women on the other hand become master manipulators if it turns bad because they don’t feel safe.
A man has no idea what that even means emotionally, only physically. “Women Think Men Are Misbehaving” our online course in the Conscious Community explains this in detail.
When a women feels hurt or angry, most of the time, she has a rage monster that goes off. Don’t back off, there is a simple solution. You can learn more about that in our free relationship online course.
She can be very scornful and throw a good man that is loyal to her, under the bus.
So here are some questions both men and women get to ask to stir up your awareness and see what lands. . . .
Does she appreciate the little things you do or does she have expectations that are exhausting because you never quite live up to them.
Do you appreciate her and what she brings to the relationship other than sex?
Does she enjoy sex as much as you do or is she doing you a favor?
Have the sex conversation before getting too involved. If you are not confident as a skilled lover, ask her what she likes and communicate what you like. More about this in the 7th class of the online Mastering Sovereignty course.
If a women uses sex to control your behavior or punish you STOP and ask yourself how long you want to be trapped in that web. There is a solution to this, it is called energetic boundaries (Mastering Sovereignty).
Think about your choices! A lifetime of sexual slavery or. . . learn how to set boundaries, it is so much easier than you think.
Many men get married and go thirty years without intimacy because they assumed that marriage means you get sex when in fact, sometimes it is the opposite. She has you so now she can say no! Possibly because she has experienced childhood trauma and has never dealt with it. (1 out of 3 women have been sexually abused.) Family Constellation Therapy will bring healing and resolution for that type of deep trauma.
Do you realize that most women need connection and intimacy in order to have an orgasm or they fake it?
Learn more about how to communicate and negotiate getting your needs met in our Mastering Sovereignty online course.
Does she take over the conversation, talking non-stop without getting to the point or listening?
Does she constantly push your boundaries or become extremely controlling?
Take a pause, and honor what you are feeling. Look within to see if that is a mirror for you. If so, both of you can sit down and listen together to our free masterclass on the website called “Crack the Communication Code.“
This is all about the differences in how to listen to men verses women. You will learn how to communicate to encourage freedom and respect in a relationship.
Learn about the importance of setting energetic boundaries in our course called Mastering Sovereignty.
If she is very negative and puts you down or emasculates you in any way that is a huge red flag you do not want to ignore. . .
Avoid starting out a relationship by working hard for love or trying to prove that you are enough.
Does that mean relationships should be easy?
There are only two ways of being in a relationship. You are either growing together or growing apart.
If you are both willing to own your shadow and check within when you are in conflict, take space around it, go back and communicate, then you will grow together.
If she is critical of you right from the start, it could be even more demoralizing after marriage. Especially when a woman tends to blame the man if she is not happy.
MEN, YOU CAN NEVER MAKE A WOMEN HAPPY! Don’t take that burden on! Support her by holding the bucket, but don’t take on her problems or she will forever hold you hostage to the impossible expectation of you being responsible for her happiness..
If you are critical and resentful of her and you hold it in, then you will begin to drift apart and justify cheating on each other unless you are consistently creating generous listening with each other.
It is extremely IMPORTANT that you have a weekly maintenance in your relationship of listening to each other. The same as you would clean your house weekly.
Ask this question. . . Are you right for her?
Do you see and respect her inner beauty and honor your commitments, or are you simply using her to fill your sexual needs.
Maybe it is a matter of convenience because you have not bothered to wake up to your own incompletions from your own childhood? It is easier to blame her. Parental imprint constellations are very helpful for this.
Go much deeper into your reasons for making a commitment.
If you cannot make an honest commitment, step up! Sign up for a parental imprint in one of our retreats to find out what your patterns are around love.
These are necessary questions to consider before you begin having children together.
Or if you both already have children, that complicates things even more if you are not committed, communicating, and complimenting.
First of all, never marry for chemistry or hot sex! For instance, when you cannot even think straight if you’re not together or having sex. Take the time to check in and know the difference between that and intimacy and connection. That could be the beginning of co-dependent soul wound bonding that many times leads to a trap later on .
If that is what you base it on then a woman may eventually use sex to control you or punish you and that can become very miserable in a hurry. And it will.
Connection is different from chemistry. It is finding a best friend, being able to talk about anything easily. Can you easily talk about sex? Do you have the same sex drive or is she going to cut you off after you’re married?
What are your Spiritual desires, are they meaningful? Do you want someone who will evolve at your pace or hold you back with drama? Are you an energetic match or is she always trying to fix and change you?
Are her parents controlling their life or your life? Parental control is one of the biggest challenges in relationships. This is a huge red flag, are you always going to be compared to her dad?
Look at parent behaviors, will there be similarities in your relationship and is that okay? Do the parents try to manipulate, control or change you or the situation already?
Does she try to possess your time and money? Or is she confident, kind and gracious to you and your friends and family?
How are you being with her? Do you respect her? Do you feel fulfilled with her in every way or are there any red flags? You will almost always have triggers especially If you want growth. The difference is being responsible for those triggers rather than keeping the blame game going.
Are you marrying someone just like your mother? What is your mother like, is she still trying to control you and your relationship? A marriage will never last if the parents are in bed with either one of you.
Are you on the same page when it comes to children? Do you want children, how many, what is your style of parenting? Is she going to allow you to share in parenting or refuse to allow you to have a say in raising them?
Are the parents or the children going to come before your relationship with each other? If that is the case, you have a lifetime of being the second class citizen and that does not end well. So many women fall into the identity of being a mother and take over without leaving room for you to be a dad.
If she has children does she allow you to be in their life fully or is she very possessive about what is hers and what is yours.
I would be honored to help you sort out priorities with some of these questions if you want to schedule a call
Shauna Lynn
Relationship Mentor and Shadow Expert
“Through the work with Shauna, her team and the wonderful connections made, at first complete strangers than beautiful friendships, learning via 3D optics, the work is transformative. I learned just how much shame, guilt and resentment we hold and how crippling those emotions are. Through Shauna’s work, I have been able to shift in a dramatic way, creating stronger relationships with self love and my divine creation. It is very hard at first being a skeptic, but curiosity won and for that am grateful of this discovery. “
-Roger
