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From Self-Sabotage to Self-Discovery

Conquering Self-Sabotage

I thought I was confident and sure of myself through out my life. Yet I had a life-time of nothing but failures.  I did not recognize it as me doing it to me! 

I carried hidden trauma, causing me to have deep fear and shame. It was completely unconscious and out of my awareness. I had no idea that I was creating it with the vibration and frequency of fear and shame I was carrying.

 I would work very hard to create amazing outcomes, then when I was close to huge financial success from it, I was blindsided with a sudden disaster that led to loss and heartbreak. I worked very hard for love, only to fail miserably. . . .Until I found a way to uncover my truth.

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, facing the paradoxical urge to undermine our own success and happiness. This self-destructive behavior is known as self-sabotage, and it can have a profound impact on our relationships, personal development, and overall well-being. 

Why do we engage in it, and how does it affect our relationship with love and money. See if you can relate to times in your life when you were blindsided by self-sabotage.

We’ll also explore a powerful therapeutic approach known as Personal Constellations Therapy that can help individuals get clarity on unconscious behaviors to overcome self-sabotage and achieve a more fulfilling life.

Self-sabotage is a complex and often unconscious pattern of behavior that undermines our own goals and desires. It can manifest in various ways, such as procrastination, self-doubt, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and a fear of success. Self-sabotage can be particularly damaging when it seeps into our relationships, affecting not only ourselves but also those we care about. The reasons behind self-sabotage are deeply rooted in our past experiences, beliefs, and emotional wounds.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

  • Fear of Failure: One common reason for self-sabotage is the fear of failure. People might engage in self-sabotaging behavior to avoid the possibility of failing and facing disappointment.
  • Fear of Success: Surprisingly, the fear of success can also trigger self-sabotage. Success often comes with greater expectations and responsibilities, which can be intimidating and unsettling.
  • Low Self-Esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may unconsciously sabotage themselves because they believe they don’t deserve success or happiness.
  • Past Trauma and Unresolved Issues: Past traumas and unresolved emotional issues can lead to self-sabotage because we carry a low frequency to attract exactly what we fear or feel ashamed of until it gets expressed and resolved.
  • Limiting Beliefs: Limiting beliefs, often formed during childhood, can lead to self-sabotage by convincing us that we are not capable or deserving of success and happiness.

The Impact of Self-Sabotage on Relationships

Self-sabotage doesn’t just affect us individually; it can also wreak havoc on our relationships. Here are some of the ways it can impact the people we care about:

  • Communication Breakdown: Self-sabotage can result in communication breakdown within relationships. Negative self-talk and self-doubt can hinder our ability to express ourselves effectively, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
  • Trust Issues: When we repeatedly self-sabotage, our loved ones may lose trust in us, as they witness our inability to follow through on commitments or achieve our goals.
  • Emotional Distance: Self-sabotage can create emotional distance within relationships. It becomes challenging to connect with others when we are struggling with our own inner battles.
  • Repeated Patterns: Self-sabotage often involves repetitive behaviors that affect not only our own life but also the lives of those close to us. This can lead to a cycle of disappointment and frustration in relationships.
  • Creating what you don’t want: We don’t even know the unconscious belief systems and imprints from our parents, so we continue to bring their patterns into our relationships, workplaces, and parenting.

Overcoming Self-Sabotage with Personal Constellations Therapy

Personal Constellations Therapy is a therapeutic approach that can help individuals identify and heal the underlying causes of self-sabotage. This powerful method is based on the idea that our problems are often connected to unresolved family and ancestral issues. Here’s how Personal Constellations Therapy can help:

  • Uncover Hidden Dynamics: The therapy helps individuals explore their family and ancestral dynamics to reveal hidden connections and traumas that may be contributing to self-sabotage.
  • Healing Through Representation: In a Constellation session, family and ancestral members are represented by individuals, allowing the client to observe and interact with these symbolic representations. This can lead to insights and emotional healing.
  • Release and Reorder: The process of Constellations allows for the release of negative patterns and the reordering of one’s inner dynamics, enabling positive change and personal growth.
  • Self-Acceptance: Through Constellations Therapy, individuals can come to terms with their past and develop self-acceptance and self-compassion, which are crucial for overcoming self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is a common but destructive behavior pattern that can have a significant impact on our lives and relationships. Understanding the root causes of self-sabotage and addressing them through therapies like Personal Constellations Therapy can be a transformative and healing journey. By unraveling the chains of self-sabotage, we can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships and lead a life that aligns with our true potential and desires.

If you have any questions about rather we can help you unpack your unconscious patterns, please set up a call with me before it happens again. I am finally living a very productive, playful, and peaceful life now that I know my Self on a deeper level. 

Much love,
Shauna Lynn
Relationship Mentor and Shadow Expert



Set up a strategy call with Shauna Lynn

“The constellation work has helped me see whether my issues were solely personal or carried on by me through ancestors. In the constellations, the truth has been revealed to me, of the emotions and traumas that have been unexpressed for generations, making it hard for me to progress. I have felt freer in my own life to let go of trauma and to live more whole and to know myself more and more each time and with each day.”
-Jade P.

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