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A Teacher’s Experience Of A Family Constellation.

An Outside Perspective of Stepping into The Circle as We Call it!

I have had the most amazing opportunity to meet really great, powerful people doing the Family Constellation Therapy! The article below was written by one of those people I was privileged to serve. What makes her so special?

Her name is Heather, she works with children in elementary school. She is a very caring and loving mother and wife. But that is not all, she is so committed to finding her inner truth. To discover and bring light to those dark secrets that live inside her inherited history. 

We all have them, and those mysteries within get to be the sacred path to our truth of who we are. We get to choose if we reveal those parts of us that we are not comfortable with. It is a choice, there is no bad and wrong, the only sin is in the secret, the truth sets us free! 

From the time she stepped into my Family Constellation Circle, her eyes were open to the unseen and unspoken world of non-verbal communication that goes on all around us. Yes, according to the HeartMath Institute, only 10% of our communication is verbal. The rest of our communication is soul wound bonding. 

Most of us are only listening to the verbal chatter, not aware of the silent chatter going on in our own energy field. According to Dr. Jeffery Fannin, we only know 5% of who we are, the rest is the unconscious thoughts and emotions in our field. 

Does the mind, body, and spirit work in harmony?  One thing we know for sure, we have conflicting voices in our head, always communicating from the different emotions that we inherit in our energy field.

Voices in your head most often conflict with the intuition from the heart. We all struggle at some point, the intuition and the chatter of the monkey mind. Which one do we listen to?

The following is Heather’s contribution to how she found peace and resolve, and how you can benefit from Family Constellation Therapy. . . . 

My name is Heather Mulhern. I have worked with Shauna for a little over two years. I have participated in four Family Constellation Therapy, attended a 8-day Ancestral Retreat, and plan to do more. I teach Movement Feedback which is about witnessing the stories we hold in our bodies, integrating them so we empower ourselves to live our lives in choice, and actualizing what we choose. Shaunas Family Constellation Therapy work resonated with me immediately.  I continue to understand more deeply the power of our family systems and its impact on our lives and our children’s lives each time I work with her.

During my first Family Constellation Therapy workshop, I planned to just check it out and observe; though, after observing and representing for other participants’ Family Constellation Therapy, I came back the next day to sit and do my own Family Constellation Therapy.

People whom you do not know, represent members of your family. They are not aware, at the time you ask them to represent for you, exactly the role they are playing.  It is amazing how the energy is channeled and the participants give an accurate read of your energy field and of your family members without knowing you or your family. Through Shauna’s direction and guidance, the experience evolves and shows what is needed for the participant to witness. Being able to see the stories that our family members run or that run them, as though watching a TV show in the space before you, brings healing and understanding to the viewer.  It enriches your life in profound ways.

I saw my parents’ dynamic play out before me, which allowed me to understand more fully my relationship dynamic with my husband. I saw and experienced my son in an entirely new way, which continues to inform my interactions and care with him as I guide him and allow him his own space to grow and experience life. 

I learned from Shauna that intentions are powerful. To get the most out of your Family Constellation Therapy experience, set a strong intention for yourself, and show up with the intention to move yourself and the group forward.  You receive healing, insights, and growth from observing, representing, and sitting for a Family Constellation Therapy. No one role is more powerful than the other. The value you receive depends on you, and how you choose to show up.  

When I am an observing participant, I stay present to what is occurring in the circle. In this way, I have received powerful insights and answers to my own questions that I brought to the space and sometimes answers to questions that I didn’t realize I needed.

When I represent for others’ Family Constellation Therapy, I have found that the roles I receive have so much information for me personally to learn and grow. At first, I would judge the roles I received. I would think, “Oh, that was a good role.” Or “Geese, that is horrible, why did I not get a good touchy- feely- one this time? What does that say about me? Something is wrong with me!” Now I realize that all the roles are necessary to experience.  I welcome and cherish the darker ones more now. It is those dark places that we often avoid, and it is in those dark places where the best and most beautiful parts of us reside. The lovey- touchy- feely places are good as well, and just as necessary. 

As a representative, I have experienced being a codependent mom that felt like I was a mollusk stuck to the bottom of the sea. It was hard to explain at the time, though what was so beautiful, was to experience all the love this woman had for those around her. She was completely co-dependent and to those around her enabling and pathetic. Her son was angry with her and her behavior. However, the love she had was beautiful which allowed me new insights and understandings into co-dependence as well as a letting-go of my judgements on co-dependence.  

My experience of that love is challenging to articulate and that is the gift of representing-it is experiential.  The more I do, the more compassion I have for myself and others. 

I highly recommend Family Constellation Therapy work. It has had a profound impact on my life. It has shifted blocks for me in a weekend, that would have taken years to shift and integrate. I do recommend following up a Family Constellation Therapy experience with movement or some practice such as yoga, walking, or anything physical. Movement gets you connected to your body and helps you to integrate the work by assisting you in moving through emotions brought up by the Family Constellation Therapy experience. 

It is important to integrate your Family Constellation Therapy experiences. Take advantage of Shauna’s integration calls. She is an amazing support and resource. And as we heal ourselves, we heal the planet. 

Think about that if you ever feel selfish spending time or resources on this work, or your ego attempts to talk you out of committing to a Family Constellation Therapy opportunity. It is likely when you are about to make huge shifts, the ego challenges you with all the reasons you are to resist change. At that moment, you go within and listen-discernment and courage. 


Thank you Heather for sharing your wisdom gained from your commitment to know thyself! It is a challenge that I spent years avoiding myself, until I experienced the magic of the Family Constellation Therapy Circle. It changed my life so deeply that I knew I not only had to get trained and certified. I was in my sixties when I woke up to the fact that I could take back my power that I lost as an infant. 

Since that time, I have devoted my life to gifting this method to others who have spent a lifetime avoiding those unknown voices because they are many times violent, painful, traumatic, and  scary. I understand, I was living my life by-passing my truth, completely unconscious of the trauma my body was hiding from my memory and my mind was avoiding.

If anyone says to me “I don’t remember my childhood!” I invite them to consider that there is a lost child within them that gets to be seen, heard, and loved, because you matter!


Shauna Cuch
Relationship Mentor and Shadow Expert

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