I Am the Light and the Dark!
Have you ever tried to follow a wounded leader? One who is spiritually by-passing and has not dealt with their soul wounds or their Shadow? This was me at one time until I learned more about shadow. I was guilty of bypassing shadow and projecting at others at one time.
As a leader and influencer, I now strive for emotional honesty. Many people are discovering they have powerful gifts so they mistakingly believe they are light and they do not need to do their shadow work. I challenge you all to step into the knowing field, the circle of truth, and see what is waiting to be integrated.
According to the Heart Math Institute, only 10% of our communication is verbal. The rest is our unconscious soul wounds that have not been witnessed or acknowledged. What they found was the energy center of the heart is responsible for more communication than the brain. These soul wounds are communicating negative unresolved issues stored in our energy field from ancestral baggage, parental imprints, limiting beliefs, or childhood trauma.
Science says we only know 5% of who we are, the other. 95% is unconscious information. Dr. Bruce Lipton says 70% of our unconscious shadow is stopping us from our dreams. This is why we entered the third demension reality, to experience that catalyst, the separation, to experience our light and our dark, to see the truth and the untruth.
We no longer need to be in that reality. It is time to close the gap of separation and discover who we really are. That is the commitment we made when we entered this reality. The fourth demension is upon us. The heart chakra~unconditional love~Christ Consciousness.
The most important truth I have learned in this process is Shadow is never greater than our light unless we judge and resist the existence of Shadow. Shadow tries to make us believe life is coming at us. We are a victim, we are powerless, we have no say. Shadow’s job is to stop us from our light. Shadow shows me who I am not, therefore I can experience that and turn my back on it to create who I am.
Because of my abuse, I disassociated from my body, not understanding as an infant why someone I loved would beat me for my self-expression. I shut the entire experience of my childhood out of my memory and developed a dissociated or altered personality. I had developed a huge hidden Shadow of fear and shame for speaking. I inherited a suppressed rage in the womb that rarely showed itself. This unconscious behavior was all hidden. I was not aware of Shadow because I was not looking for shadow, I was a light chaser.
I was raised to be God-fearing, right and righteous because others were bad and wrong. I grew up in this patriarchal mindset that I was under the umbrella of a man for my salvation. I attracted a man who ended up with a rage who became emotionally abusive.
I had no idea that it was abuse because I was raised in abuse. Does this sound familiar? If you have had a life of hell and conflict, find out what is lurking in your energy field before you put the blame on anyone else. I discovered I attracted all that into my life to wake me up to who I am and learn to love the shadow aspects of myself and bring them to the light.
My unconscious belief was “I had to work hard for love and money,” yet I would self sabotage everytime I was successful. I did not realize I had a deep fear of success from my childhood. I was an incredibly positive and creative person, completely unconscious of my Shadow.
In my fifties, I met and later married a Native American who was educated, but he himself also had hidden trauma. My son built us a home on the reservation and that is where my soul purpose came to light. I found my gift and desire to heal.
It started out with his son giving us his heard of horses that were on his land. I discovered their gift to heal and took training in horse therapy, healing with horses. This is how I discovered my ability to see and understand Shadow in others, yet I had not discovered my own Shadow until I heard about a method for healing shadow called Family Constellations. I felt the call of my soul to investigate this method and knew I had to learn more.
I flew to the event in Texas where I was able to not only witness and learn but experience this methodology myself. I volunteered and was chosen by the trainer to demonstrate using horses and humans as representatives (to act out the truth in my energy field).
The results were unimaginable. I was so deeply changed and healed by this process I knew I had to gift it to the world to experience the deep healing that I felt and witnessed. Through this amazing method of healing (with or without horses), I learned about my abuse and began doing the deeper work on my Shadow. I was trained and certified by the best and I have never looked back.
Did you know that your body stores four generations of ancestral shadow? Thats right! It does not belong to you, yet think of it as your payback to your ancestors for what it took to get you here.
The nuero-scientist that studied and validated my Relationship Alchemy 8-day retreat (video of it on my website) said when our ancestors die they do not take their negative energy or unresolved issues with them. That negative energy stays in our family system until we wake up to the fact that what ever is in your energy field, you may have made a promise to heal it rather than leaving it your children to deal with mental or physical issues. The vibration of the earth is reaching a higher frequency to bring this negative energy to our awareness and help us heal these issues.
When I do this work, I love seeing lives change once you integrate that darkness and bring it to the light. So many people are unaware that we even have four generations of unresolved history in our energy field (watch “Ghost in Your Genes”)
If you have really heavy mental or physical issues in your family, give your children a gift and integrate your ancestral shadow. We can make a difference in their lives by integrating our shadow and bring it to the light. This work has been so transformational for me. Thank you for reading this.
Click here to read The Way, the Truth, the Dark, the Unified (Part 1)